Virtual Console Reviews: Mega Man 2, Cho Aniki, Final Soldier
Sep. 18
Cho Aniki and Mega Man 2 are brought together at last, courtesy of the Wii's Virtual Console. What a wild world we live in. The VC also recently received Final Soldier, a previously Japan-only shooter for the TurboGrafx-16. Are any of these games worth buying? Let's travel through time to find out!
Cho Aniki
1992:
EWWW! This terminally sick shooter is by far the worst game in the TurboGrafx's otherwise stellar library. If you like watching musclebound men dry hump each other through a series of horizontally scrolling shooting levels (with almost no parallax scrolling to speak of, at that), you are a bad person, and we don't want you reading our magazine. We don't even need to play this one to tell you it's disgusting and wrong.
2008:
The above is paraphrased from a Cho Aniki preview EGM ran back in the day. I really wish I knew which issue it was in, because it's hilarious. Times have changed, luckily, and we now live in a bountifully gay era in which even the homoerotically charged Cho Aniki can be released on the Virtual Console and earn an ESRB rating of E10+. What a country!
It's not that bad of a game, either. Unlike its sequel, Ai Cho Aniki, it's not terrible on purpose, and in fact is a pretty decent shooter. What sets it apart, of course, is its reliance on burly dudes and sexual undertones. Cho Aniki would be an entirely skippable shooter otherwise, but the promise of ludicrous between-stage imagery will keep you playing through to the end. This doesn't mean that there's anything essential here, gameplay-wise, but if you're in the mood for something weird and have nine bucks to burn, there are way worse ways to spend it on the Virtual Console.
Try these too: R-Type III (SNES), Bio-Hazard Battle (Genesis), Lords of Thunder (Duo)
Don't bother with: Dead Moon (TG16), Psychosis (TG16)
Final Soldier
1991:
One word: AMAZING! The TurboGrafx is on a roll with the latest in its Star Soldier series of shooters, and as good as the last one was, this one is literally twenty thousand times better!! The graphics will make your head throb with intense 8-bit pleasure, and the music, sound effects, and gameplay AAAAAAH GOD SO GREAT! There is no doubt that this is the best shooter that will ever be released for any console, and we're totally not just saying that because it may never be released outside of Japan, and Japan is the best country of all time.
2008:
Just another TurboGrafx shooter.
I mean, it's okay. I had a good amount of fun with it. The power-up system is interesting, at least, since it allows you to swap your weapon configuration every time you use a continue. A dozen or so weapon types are available in all, and each one can be powered up twice, allowing for a surprising amount of variety and strategy for a game of its type.
It's just...well, we've had enough. Final Soldier's U.S.-released sequel, Soldier Blade, has been available on the Virtual Console for months now, and is arguably better in many ways. The TurboGrafx has seen superior shooters outside of the Soldier series, too -- Blazing Lazers in particular is both cheaper and more fun. This doesn't even take into account the number of shooters available across other platforms. It's hard to justify spending Wii Points on yet another above-average TurboGrafx shooter, especially considering that Final Soldier carries a 100-Point import surcharge. You could do worse, but you could also do a lot better.
Try these instead: Blazing Lazers (TG16), Soldier Blade (TG16), Zanac (NES)
Don't bother with: Star Soldier (NES), Super Star Soldier (TG16)
Mega Man 2
1989:
Almost as good as a glass of Pepsi... okay, it's better! Sidescrollers...They don't get much better than this. This game has nothing to do with a baby carriage. Or does it? Try and catch him if you can...Friends Are Forever. Houston, we have liftoff! Now the games are starting to get good!!! A worthy sequel. Bubble Man, Flash Man, Quick Man, Metal Man, Wood Man, Air Man, Crash Man, and Heat Man join my 70th review party.
2008:
If you want to get instantly angry, check out the user-submitted reviews for any popular game at GameFAQs. Really, I don't know why I do this to myself.
Mega Man 2 is one of the best games on the NES, and is in the running for the best action game of all time. I've finished it so many times that I'm no longer qualified to talk about it rationally, but if you haven't played it yet, you need to spend five dollars this week to find out why everyone thinks it's so great. Hell, even if you own the awful Mega Man Anniversary Collection, you still need to get this. Mega Man's been through some tough times over the last thirty sequels, but you owe him at least this much.
Try these too: Mega Man (NES), Super C (NES), Ghouls'n Ghosts (GEN)
Don't bother with: Vectorman (GEN), Ninja Gaiden III (NES)
Comments
man have you even PLAYED the legends games
also bobo the clown and psycho penguin can each choke on seven cocks in halo forever
I beat Legends 1, never played Legends 2, and played some of Tron Bonne. This was all a long time ago, though. Maybe I need to try them again.
...wait, what alternate universe do you live in where Mega Man Legends was overrated? Please let me know, so I can move there. Usually the poor thing is unjustly maligned eight ways from Sunday. Doesn't help that the best installment in the series by far was actually a spinoff. ;_;
Entertaining reviews as always, though.
Man, and here I thought Legends got nothing but gushy praise from everyone. I hereby withdraw my title tag, pending further play of the series (or maybe just Tron Bonne).
Legends is, much like Godhand, a game that is overrated in certain sections of the internet and basically ignored by the general public.
To clarify: Legends is not BAD (although it's aged a bit poorly in places) but it isn't the Finest Mega Man Game Ever like some folks claim!
I've got to confess I loved the Legends series, as saccharine as the Bonnes made it. The first two X games were all the therapy a ten year old needed too. Especially after having his sanity rubbed out by the difficulty of the original series.
Finest MM game ever, my *foot*. The Legends games were clunky initial attempts to bring the series in 3D (supposedly due to Sony mandate back when it was trying to push 3D EVERYTHING on the PSX). It's actually quite surprising that they turned out as playable as they did.
It's mainly the characters and charm that brings the series its quality--and more to the point, a certain set of characters. I'm going to go ahead and say it: without the Bonnes, Legends is nothing. They steal the show in that series so many times, it's no wonder they got their own game.
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