Virtual Console Reviews: Gradius II, Digital Champ
Oct. 24
Digital Champ: Battle Boxing
Oh, man. This game is hilarious. If I was less lazy, I'd make some animated .gifs out of the way the boxers move -- they're twitchy and all over the place, and they make these ridiculous faces. It's great.
The game itself, though, is something that nobody should ever have to play. The controls are so stiff and your movement is so limited that Digital Champ plays more like an FMV-based fighting game like Supreme Warrior or Prize Fighter than it does like a boxing game. Unless you want to lose, your strategy will quickly degenerate into charging up power punches while staying completely still, then nailing your opponent whenever you see an opening. It's only slightly more boring than it is frustrating, and it's very frustrating.
All the while, your opponent is going to be prancing around the ring like a jackass and beating the crap out of you. Yeah, thanks for mocking me, boxing guy. Sure wish I could move, or dodge, or block, or throw the punches I want to throw. I'm glad you have the freedom to do that. Must be nice.
This game is a total turd, and by selling it on the American Virtual Console (at an extra 100 Point import surcharge, no less), Hudson has proven that nothing -- quality, necessity, or the thousands of dollars needed to get ESRB approval for every release -- will stand in the way of their insane quest to get every single TurboGrafx-16 game on the Wii. Don't you dare buy this.
Try this instead: Punch-Out!! (NES)
Don't bother with: Urban Champion (NES)
Gradius II: Gofer no Yabou
Gradius II, on the other hand, is a fine game. It ranks behind Gradius V and Gradius Gaiden as one of my favorites in the series, and it's great that the Virtual Console now has a complete collection of the 8 and 16-bit era Gradius titles. Well, except for Salamander/Life Force, but that only half-counts.
Gradius II strikes a nice balance between the somewhat primitive Gradius and the too-damned-hard Gradius III. It's difficult enough to be challenging, but is never ridiculously hard. The detailed graphics have aged well, and some areas (the first level's fire dragon section, for instance) still stand out as being particularly impressive.
It has a great soundtrack, selectable weapon types, and at least one level that totally rips of H.R. Giger, as required by late-'80s shooter law. It's also great fun. Or at least, it remains fun until you lose your first life and all of your power-ups. But hey, that's Gradius. If you've been meaning to get into the Gradius series, start with this one.
Try these too: R-Type III (SNES), Super Fantasy Zone (GEN)
Don't bother with: Dead Moon (TG16), Psychosis (TG16)
Comments
Finally. I'm glad Konami released Gardius II. Here's hoping they get around to Dracula X.
Honestly I don't think a single person is surprised to hear that Digital Champ sucks. I mean just look at one screenshot. Its one of those games that kind of jumps out and says "I play like crap". I guess the fact that nearly every boxing game from the 80's to early 90's that didn't have the words "Punch" and "Out" in them tended to suck.
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