Wow. An original WiiWare game that doesn't suck. After weeks of shovelware like Spogs Racing and Pong Toss: Frat Party Games I didn't think it would happen. Sure, there was Strongbad, but that was anticipated to be a solid release. Groovin' Blocks, however, has all the signs of shovelware, yet somehow it's a respectable game.
My Pokémon Ranch is not a game. Think of it instead as a Mii plaza for your Pokémon. It offers about as much interaction as your Wii's Mii Channel, yet it still manages to be entertaining in its own goofy, laid-back way.
Hey! Toki Tori is... pretty fun, and not exactly like something you can probably download from the Virtual Console! Well, provided Eggbert doesn't show up anytime soon. Now, Toki Tori is inexplicably 1000 points for Americans, despite being a 900 point game for Europeans. Good lord, why? Is an "import" surcharge getting tacked onto it? That pretty much makes no sense. Oh well, it's actually a good game, so still completely worth it. Tasty review below.
(Beating this game made me want an omelet, and also made me feel ashamed of that.)
I don't quite get the design logic behind games like Protöthea. Surely nobody said, "Okay, we've got a decent game concept here. Now let's make it less fun!" during its creation, but the end result feels like an almost competent game weighed down by design decisions that suck away all potential enjoyment.
I am honestly not sure what to say about reviewing the new Dr. Mario Online RX. It's a good solid game, and a good example of what WiiWare is good at that boxed titles can't accomplish quite so well. On the other hand, reviewing Dr. Mario seems roughly as futile a task as attempting to publish a new review of Pong. This game is long since a classic, and all I can really comment upon is whether or not the new package makes it any better or worse than the NES cart I'm sure everyone reading this who was around in those days probably had.
Also, my Dr. Mario Online RX number is 4334 1405 0124. Poke me on AIM if you want a match. (Warning: I am not incredibly good, but neither am I incredibly bad.)
Dr. Mario & Germ Buster
There's an almost utilitarian simplicity in Family Table Tennis' existence. Just as V.I.P. Casino: Blackjack (barely) satisfied WiiWare's need for a quick-and-dirty gambling sim, Family Table Tennis plays an equally barebones game of ping pong. It's as simplistic as it was inevitable, but unlike V.I.P. Casino: Blackjack, Family Table Tennis' friendly aesthetic and satisfying gameplay give it the kind of charm that downloadable titles often critically lack.
With WiiWare's better-than-expected launch lineup behind us, Konami compiles all of our pre-launch WiiWare fears into Critter Round-Up, a limited and thoroughly awful release that practically nullifies all goodwill previously found in Nintendo's downloadable games service.
Critter Round-Up places you in the role of a farmer who must satisfy his obsessive-compulsive need to sort his animals by species. Starting in a large enclosed area, you must separate animal species by constructing a series of fences in straight lines. While it starts out simple enough, the process soon becomes frustrating, and the game never comes close to being fun at any point.
Warning labels are everywhere in our modern society. The video games we play are no exception, with many titles preceded by screens cautioning against violent content or the fact that playing online will completely ruin your fun. Star Soldier R, though, is the first game I've seen to feature a pre-purchase warning based on predicted personal taste.
Prior to accepting your Wii Points, the Wii Shop Channel warns that Star Soldier R is not a complete shooter experience. Rather, it's a collection of timed challenges. Think of Star Soldier R as a vertically scrolling shooter take on Pac-Man Championship Edition's competitive formula -- gameplay comes in two- or five-minute bursts, and focuses on score and technique, rather than the genre's usual premise of survival against extreme odds. The result, while fun, may not provide the kind of longevity that shooter fans expect.
There are few games so bad that getting angry at them is warranted, butTV Show King manages to be one of them. I want to give the benefit of the doubt to Gameloft and believe the game got rushed out the door, or that perhaps they just haven't learned how to properly develop for console hardware as powerful as the Wii yet. After all, Gameloft's usual specialty is casual titles for mobile platforms, which are hardly going to demand a lot of voice acting or compensating for what the game is going to look like in 16:9 aspect ratio.
That said, TV Show King falls into the upper end of the WiiWare price range, and I can't find it in me to take it easy on this game when the same $10 it costs could snag you LostWinds, Pop, or Defend Your Castle instead. The mobile market to some extent represents a captive audience that tends to accept corner-cutting and game limitations as a basic problem of their hardware. WiiWare doesn't work the same way and GameLoft can't afford to approach their titles as if it did.
Anyway, review behind the cut. Really, it's much more restrained than this! Sort of.
You know, I don't think anyone in the world likes Blackjack this much.
Do you love Blackjack enough to pay seven dollars to play it? Given the choice, I'd decline before I even knew any further details. While Blackjack can be fun in small doses or as part of a larger collection of casino games, it's still a fairly simplistic card game that won't hold your interest for long. There's some element of strategy involved -- carefully weighing your hand against the dealer's opening card is key to winning -- but after a few hands, you'll be ready to head off to the craps table.
